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Die Cubes in Berlin: Team-Event im "dicken B"Day 1: Company Meeting – right on traget!

Midterm judgement is coming up. In order to bring some excitement into the world of dull statistics, departments have a little less time than they used to for presenting their values. It works almost as well as it does for the academy awards. Better actually: after all, we have Felix, whipping presenters with his notorious time cards. The Academy does not.

Apparently we have put on a stunning performance for the first half of the year. This makes the afterwards lunch taste twice as good.

Lasertag – target locked… ready, aim, fire!

In the afternoon we go Lasertagging. I feel somewhat younger wearing my shining plastic armor. This is a good thing: in order not to be hit even more often, you should be able to get down on your knees properly. So we’re charging in feeling like an alliance squadron in “Battlefront.” Somewhere in my mind a mischievous voice tells me that we more accurately look like a nerdy nursery group running to get a free WOW credit card.

The truth is probably somewhere in between. But it really is fun. As we are all covered with lights that make us shine like Christmas trees, even colleagues who are not much into first-person-shooters are able to deal some nice hits.

Whoa, I’m getting nuked by controlling. From a shady niche. Nasty.

Meanwhile, some other colleagues have entrenched themselves close to the 1001-points special targets. Well, I might be better off getting there second in this case.

A few hours later, the Laserboss invites us again to a cheerful multiplayer deathmatch (everyone against everyone else). After that we start drifting towards our home galaxies. After all, tomorrow will be an early day: we’re going to fly to Berlin this year!

Day 2: Flying, biking, partying

So this is Berlin. I would have imagined something more neat. Well, considering the airport at least. Inspired by the somewhat dingy Tegel we tell each other dirty jokes during our lengthy bus ride to the city center. Probably we managed to lose some of our standard along the way. It might have dropped from the plane, who knows. The weather obviously intends us well, because as soon as we have all mounted our bikes the sun comes out.

Berlin Cathedral, Island of Museums, Governmental District: Berlin is great for cycling, because it is quite flat. The buildings, however, are not. On the contrary.

If you are used to the Hotel Tower being the tallest building (commonly known as “The Corncob” in Augsburg), you tend to be amazed.

The hotel is amazing too. The name “Steglitz International” sounds somewhat droll. However, there is nothing to complain about, everything clean and well organized. But the carpets are weird. Stanley Kubrick would probably love this place. Have I seen twins at the end of the corridor? I thought I had.

Before I can wonder any more about it, we’re off again: on the way to the location of the counties BBQ-championships for some partying (and barbecueing, of course).

Being in a bar-queue is not the same as barbecue

A wierd little man is standing in front of me reading from his conversation card: “Grilling is not the same as barbecue. This brings us to the most important question: What was first? “.

Odd. I thought the most important barbecue question would be “poultry, pork or beef?” Or maybe “medium, rare, well-done?”. Seems I was wrong. At least I know what a swing grill is. The little man now knows it as well.

At the workshop “Vegetable Cutting”, the gastronomic concept becomes apparent: cooking for yourself is probably the motto. I wonder if that could be introduced at the “Teatro”? Rather unlikely. Nevertheless, I would like to thank the colleagues, who volunteered for chopping. And, of course, to Oli, who masterfully flamed the meat. Absolutely delicious. No threat posed for our good mood at any time.

After all, the supply in beverages is guaranteed, which is certainly the merit of the really nice waitress. There is wine, draft beer, remarkable strawberry punch and treacherous little bottles of liqueur. Whenever you think it’s enough, somebody (for example me) comes by with a round of these little buggers. A certain lead consultant has even brought a whole box to the table.

At some point we find ourselves back in the hotel lobby, and we decide to storm the bar. My favorite admin is talking to me about fishing. One should respect fish, which are similar in age to the fisher himself. I fully agree. The bartender claims that the giant fish on the wall is a herring. That’s also what is engraved on a small messing board, but not under the fish, but on the wall obliquely opposite. I somehow feel like being caught in a David Lynch movie, so I decide to go to bed.

Day 3: Rowing, partying, flying

Nach einem magenfreundlichen Frühstück machen wir uns auf zum nächsten Programmpunkt: Drachenboot fahren an einer Regattastrecke. Drachenboot, das ist die umgangssprachliche Bezeichnung für die Langboote, mit denen die Wikinger die Küsten Nordeuropas geplündert haben. Segelboote. Oder wie in diesem Fall: Paddelboote. Mit kleinen Drachenköpfen vorne dran. Außerdem sitzt ein Trommler drauf, damit wir schön im Takt paddeln können. Das scheint immerhin semi-gut zu klappen. Beim Rennen werden wir trotzdem Letzter, was möglicherweise daran liegt, dass wir zwei Ruderer zu wenig haben. Aber Spaß macht es trotzdem. Und nasse Hosen. Die nicht-so-schlimme Art von nassen Hosen.

Zur Belohnung gibt’s danach Burger frisch vom Grill. Ich habe das Gefühl, der Drachenboot-Kapitän hat vom Grillen wirklich Ahnung. Ob der auch an Meisterschaften teilnimmt? Jedenfalls schmecken die Burger vorzüglich. Passend zum gemütlichen Teil kommt auch wieder die Sonne raus. Was für ein prächtiger Tag, um das Team-Event ausklingen zu lassen.

Und so verlassen wir Berlin wieder am späten Nachmittag, in der guten Hoffnung, dass diese überaus weltoffene Stadt auch uns Bayern ein weiteres Mal verkraftet hat.

After an intestinally-friendly breakfast we continue with the next point in our schedule: dragon-boating on a regatta course. Dragonboat is the term for the long boats the Vikings used for devastating the coasts of Northern Europe. Sailboats. Or as in this case: paddle boats. With small dragon heads at the front. In addition, a drummer sits there, to make us paddle more consistently. We seem to make semi-good progress at this. In the race we come in last anyhow, which may be due to lacking two Vikings. Still it’s a lot of fun. And wet pants. The not-too-bad type of wet pants.

As a reward, there’s burgers fresh from the barbecue grill. I have the hunch that the dragonboat captain really knows how to barbecue. Probably he’s participating in championships? Anyway, the burgers taste most excellent. The sun comes out right on time for the cozy part to start. What a magnificent day to end the team event.

And so we leave Berlin by late afternoon, in the good hope that this very cosmopolitan city has also coped with our little bavarian invasion and still stands.

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